What is the key to love & happiness, you might ask? Not PMS, obviously.
I know how tough and weird PMS is.
It creeps on you. It tingles. You feel It in your vein. You don’t even realize It. You try to enjoy your day. You brush It off. It builds up. It is a monster. It feast on your dissatisfaction. It gobbles up your frustration. It grows.
And when It is bigger than yourself, man! It blows on your fucking face, and everyone’s else within a 786 meter radius. And man, can It blow the fuck up! Quite a show, really.
PMS is a funny thing. You only ever realize it after it blows up. You be all “Ohhh, no wonder I was feeling all pissy! It is PMS, not me! I would never do that normally! I wouldn’t have screamed at you for not washing your cup! I wouldn’t have burned all your clothing! I wouldn’t have smashed your PS4! No, no! That’s not me! It’s PMS, darling!”
Nope. Don’t try that bullshit. PMS is you. Don’t try to get out of it. Don’t try to blame it on PMS. If it grows inside you, if you harbour it, if you feel it, that means its you. C’mon now. We are not the kind of humans who push around the blame, am I right? Let’s face up to it, let’s own it, let’s be responsible!
What I am trying to say is, keep track of your PMS. I know it is very hard to control. But you can keep track of it and hence, manage it. Taadaa! Seriously, there are TONS of apps that are made to track your PMS. I mean, PMS is so crazy that people actually developed a tracker! And when you track it, you need to manage it. Don’t just track it, what is the fucking point. The point is to know when is the danger period and try to minimize the destruction it would cause. Be nice, don’t shove your nasty feelings into someone and spoil their day too.
When you know you are nearing your PMS, just be more aware. Be more in control. Take care of what you say and what you do. It is not easy with all those raging fucked up hormones, but just try okay? Just think before you do or say anything. Take a huge deep fucking breath and think, “Hmm, if I scream GO AND FUCKING WASH YOUR FUCKING CUP YOU ASSHOLE, is it too harsh? Hmm yes, he would prolly be angry. Hmm, yes that would start an argument. Hmm, I don’t want to argue, Hmm, okay I’ll ask nicely then”
There you go! Brava! You did it! Cup washed and no argument! Say whaaa! Magic! What a time to be alive!
It really is the key to a happy & stress-free relationship. If you are spouting all these terrible words and accusations and insults and harshness every time your PMS comes by, I don’t think any partner or friend (or anyone, really) can take that in the long-term. Do you want to be alone & be left with your PMS all your life? No you don’t. So take care of your PMS. Pet it and put it to sleep if you can. Feed it sleeping pills. Shush it. Sing it a lullaby. Don’t let it get out of control. Don’t let it blow up. You are stronger than it!
Remember, friends! Words are impactful! They hurt, and they will be remembered. Forever. And Ever.
So, to sum this post up,
- PMS is shit
- Nobody likes PMS, least of all your friends/family/partner
- Track & manage your PMS. It is a responsibility. Be serious about it, goddamit.
- Think carefully before you say or do ANYTHING
- And lastly, just remember that if you’re feeling really shitty, the first rule is not to make the other person feel shitty too
You will live happily ever after once you conquer this (what fairytales often forgot to include is that all the princesses manage their fucking PMS-es)!
Get your shit together woman.