Pet Peeve #036 – Self-depreciating Humour

I love humour.

I love love self-depreciating humour. It’s quite funny, and sometimes it quells the uncomfortable awkwardness. It’s a pretty good tool for your self-confidence too.

BUT I FUCKING HATE WHEN SOMEONE ABUSES SELF-DEPRECIATING HUMOUR.

How this genre of humour works is that, you can only use it once or maybe twice at most. Maybe use it again in approx. 32 months if you really need/want to use it the third time.

Here’s an example:

Skinny Friend: Shit, I need to go for a run, all those carbs!

Fat Me: Ah, yes. But look at me you’ll feel better 🙂

(Okay, I know it’s not exactly funny but just go with this)

You cannot use this “I’m fat” joke again. Seriously. If you do, you’re just fucking begging for a fucking pity party. Instead of quelling awkward situations, you’re just fucking inviting the army of fucking awkward nation. People will get uncomfortable, they will painfully laugh, they will stumble a step backwards, their eyes will desperately search for the exit sign, while they mumble softly, “Ha ha, c’mon……you’re not fat….ha ha……you’re..you’re fine! Ha ha…”

Nobody likes self-pity. You don’t have to keep making jokes about your fats, or the fact that you’re all alone, or that you’re depressed, or that you’re just a pathetic bag of buttface. Nobody wants to hear all that, just stfu. We are not your psychiatrist, we are not here to make you feel better about yourself. Honestly, we don’t even want to be here with you.

Gosh, there are rules to humour guys!! Follow the fucking rules!! Listen to me!! I’m always right!!

 

You know I’m right,

Sullen

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