You know this weird thing called chewing gum? You do?! Very good.
Well, just so you know, I fucking hate it. I mean it’s all fine if you chew for like 5 minutes and then spit it out (in a bin of course!). But if you continue chewing it and chewing it some more, i will punch you in your reproductive organ & ensure it will just be an organ and nothing more. It’s like even when I am not looking at you, I can see your tiny annoying jaw moving and moving and moving and moving annndd moooovvvinnnnggg. Oh my god. It is the most annoying thing (not ever, but still very much annoying).
So, stop it.
Just stop it.
Stop fucking chewing.
I Need You To Stop Chewing Gum,